Golf Clubs

Satin Anser

When I first met Mr N, he was spontaneous, lively and surprising. Birthdays often brought trips to European capital cities, Christmas meant shopping in New York and diamonds. Now that we have been married for more years than either of us care to think about, some of the initial spontaneity has diminished. The arrival of Baby B ended last minute trips overseas, and there’s only so many diamonds you can wear while being a domestic goddess or nipping out to Sainsbury’s. This has led over the years to a surge in the number of perfume bottles on my dressing table, and a small collection of gadgets. What I would really like is some lingerie – not the usual every day sort, but something really special – something not just to lift and separate, but that I can wear to feel ultra feminine or, well, just less like a wife and mother and more like a woman! When I raised this with him, Mr N shuffled uncomfortably and changed the subject. When I returned to the subject, Mr N charged off into the bathroom, locking the door for an hour and blaming an undercooked lunchtime scallop. Which would have been fine if he hadn’t had the pork. All this got me thinking – why was Mr N (who in every other respect is confident and successful) so opposed to the idea of buying me some lovely underwear for Christmas? The only person who I could think of who might have the answer was Fiona. Fiona is an expert on men – she watches them closely, observes their every behaviour and she’s been married to four of them. I tried to point out once that perhaps this particular statistic proved that she wasn’t quite the expert that she thought she was, but she explained to me that it was all part of the learning process.

Fiona’s theory is that men are wonderful creatures, but timid when removed from their natural surroundings. A man who is king of men in the boardroom or in the bar is meek and unsure around flowers, lace and frills. Her theory is that they love their women so much, that they are mortally afraid of making a mistake and causing offence. I can see the sense in this. Fiona’s advice to men who care to ask for it, is to avoid large department stores, where droves of men can be seen in the weeks preceding Christmas red faced and shuffling without an assistant in sight, and should instead head to a local specialist store where they can receive a personal service. Size is everything – it is important to have a good rummage through the underwear drawer of the lady it’s intended for (preferably while she isn’t looking!) and get the sizes of the bras she is already wearing. A bra size will consist of two numbers, usually increasing in increments of 2 starting typically around 28 and moving though up to 46 or 48. This represents the measurement around the ribs. The second part of the size is the letter. This can be anything from a ‘AA’ to a ‘J’ and represents the bust size. It is no longer deemed acceptable to enter a store and show the assistant roughly how much of a handful the lady of your life possesses. She is far better able to show you an item that will correctly fit if you work in inches or centimetres.

When selecting a style of underwear, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you don’t know the difference between a balconette bra or a plunge bra then say so! The assistant will be very happy to show the different styles and explain how they look under different types of clothing. It is never acceptable to ask an assistant to try the item on so that you can see how it looks – a little imagination will be needed! If your beloved doesn’t wear lace bras, don’t just assume that she doesn’t like them. It may simply be that the clothes she likes to wear look better with a smooth cup underneath, and she would be happy to have a lace bra for special wear. Alternatively, it might be that she finds the lace irritates her, in which case it is better to look for a smoother cup.

If you’re unsure about which style of lingerie to select or which size to look for, nightwear is often a gorgeous alternative – especially if it’s silk or satin. This often requires little more than a dress size and makes for a very romantic gift.

In any case, be brave and take a look – lingerie can be a classy and romantic gift and can be a very welcome change from jewellery and perfume. I shall be sending Mr N shopping with Fiona this year (gifts for the children of course!) and keeping my fingers crossed…

Beverly Feldman Satin Thong with Simulated Pearls – Item:…